Didi ki Shaadi

Inconveniences(especially caused by drunkard Mallya) neglected, the journey to Lucknow was completely different. May be I wouldn't yearn to go there again, but I don't regret going there. The place is not beautiful, but it's fun.

First, we went shopping. As we didn't have much time left, we had planned something very limited and had only one item in our list - Chikan. It is a simple, yet beautiful art on thin cloth, usually on kurtis and saris. We were a group of around around 5 ladies and 2 men(you know why :P ). We went to one store and finished our shopping in less than an hour. I selected 2 kurtis in less than 5 minutes. And I was as bored as my brother for the rest of the time. I couldn't help noticing my aunts' broken Urdu flavoured Hindi as they did their usual bit of haggling with the taxi driver and the shopkeeper.
Once you step into Lucknow, you should accustom yourself to the change in time and time sense. If they say "aadhe ghange mein pahunchenge", it means they'll take aadhaa din to reach. So I still remember my dad say "Aadhaa ghanta = Lucknow ka aadhaa ghanta!".(That was probably the only joke the driver understood - the rest were either in Kannada, or broken Hindi. :-D )


         Wedding, wherever it is-north or south or any other direction, is an exhibition of sizzling heavy sarees and dashing suits and sherwanis, array of smiles and bustling crowd all around, mouth watering, scrumptious food, and a gamut of emotions. The change is seen in the way they're done. For a person hailing from a small unnoticed corner of the western coasts, grown up witnessing quick marriages that start in the morning and end by the afternoon, this wedding, starting at dusk and ending at dawn next day, seemed a bit weird. But it was a whole new experience! If you read between the lines, they pretty much do what we do in weddings, but in a different manner. Here, I have listed out what I can recall:

• Timing: As I already mentioned, we end just after lunch, and they start just after dinner. Here, I'm only talking about the actual marriage and the rituals directly associated with it. More precisely, excluding the reception part. The muhurat is fixed sometime after breakfast and before lunch. Exactly at the time the guy ties the knot, "...pee pee pee dum dum dum..." , goes the Vaadya-band. There, the muhurat is sometime in the midnight(may be not in all cases..I'm not sure). Silence remains. We people clapped :P. 
• Similar, but different- "The change is seen in the way they're done":  The purpose of these conventional activities, anywhere in the world, are the same - lighten the atmosphere and bring the yo!-it's-a-wedding mood all alive. These activities start right from the entry of the Baaraat. There, the groom's cousins try stopping the guy from entering the premises while the bride's cousins try carrying him, despite the obstacles. [The guy came by car(not a horse -.-), btw]. Here, we do something called "eduru gummodu", where we throw hands-full of puffed rice on the groom's family and warmly welcome them. Also there's this event where the girl's behen steals the to-be-jeeju's shoes hides it, and gives it back, only after fetching money(if you're a younger sister, trust me, it's a LOT of pocket money!). Back here, at the time of Gruha Pravesha of the bride after wedding, the groom's cousins(here too, it's the girls :P) don't let them in, until he gives them the money.
• Venue, and others:  Here we shell out money on renting choultries and temples. There, to conduct a marriage, all you need is a huge lawn,where they put vast pandals and roofs and magnificently illuminate the place with sparkling lighting and vibrant colours.

Here's a description of what I saw, remember-from baaraat to bidaai:

The Baaraat is a procession led by the groom's family, announcing their arrival to the place, by loud songs and dance. Then, as described earlier, the groom and his family is welcomed. It was a long way from the gates to the stage. My cousins, with great effort, carried him for a short distance. They walked the rest, slowly, clicking photos after each step. Around 5 dulha- oriented songs would have already been played by this time. 

Somewhere near the stage, the bride's parents do what we call "Paada Puje"-washing the groom's legs and all. Remember, all this while, the bride's waiting inside. It's now that she makes her grand entry. It was a grand entry indeed. My pretty sister, clad in an elegant, red-green sequin-adorned lehenga, stepped in. Here too, she was carried by her brothers till the dias, and was followed by her sisters(including me me me) and friends. On stage, the hero and heroine exchanged garlands and posed for many a snap.

Meanwhile, more and more guests started streaming in. If you're a guest, it's like this - as you enter, you have a long row of desks to your right, with a wide variety of hot delicious dishes being served(I didn't eat half the dishes available, so ask me not to name them.). There was another food counter at the center, which, as far as I remember, served salads, rotis, and rice. It was designed to look like a dhaba. 

And as you move further from the food counter, you can see the stage and the seats in front. Greet the couple if you want to, but food first. ;-)

Most of the guests slowly started moving out. At around 10-30, the place was fairly empty. The hero and heroine are still on stage, starving. Finally, almost all guests leave, and only close ones from family and friends remain. The time is nearly 12 AM. It is now that the families sit together in a huge round table and dine. After the dinner, the preparation for the actual marriage starts. The wedding happened at a smaller part of the lawn behind the reception venue. A mantap is constructed, and beds are spead all around the mantap, for the audience. *yawn*. The wedding rituals started at around 1-30. The weather was chilled out, and damp. I insulated myself with like three layers of clothing. The youngest as I am in my family, everyone asked me to go sleep. Ha.

Again, they pretty much did what we would do in daytime. Dad handled the camera for quite a while. However, it had to come to the right hands :-P

As usual, the pandit-ji's lectures got boring by the minute. So I explored the situation, to make timepass out of boredom-

"I was bored..."

• The sleepier the couple were, the cute they looked.
• The groom's attire was heavier than him. So was the bride's. I wondered if the weight of the jewellery had her lose balance while walking!
• The groom wore a traditional rumal. It was beatuiful. He looked like a prince!
• My sister was no less captivating. She looked like a North Indian. Pwetty pwetty doll!!
• I looked back. Men on the chairs watched the proceedings with great effort containing their sleep.
• Laterally opposite to me was another row of chairs where old women sat  - sorry - slept. 
• To my immediate left sat ladies and gentlemen of the groom's famil. They wrapped themselves with a blanket they shared.
• My aunts who sat behind me cracked PJs. In Kannada. (Got my point? :P)

"I wondered if it had her lose balance.."

The royal rumal

Tiara?

   




































However, these things could keep me alive only momentarily. So I resorted back to listening to pandit-ji.

He spoke of istree's importance to a family, and hence, the society. And many more things I didn't even bother to listen. The couple nodded dramatically.

Then came Kanyadaan, Saptapadi and Sindoor. And I finally got a job. I hate it when the official photographers barge into the middle of my frame. Get away you idiot, I want the couple, not that thing hanging from your 

camera.  

The guy also applied Sindoor to the girl. 

After a few more events, the handsome guy from the heart of Lucknow tied the knot to the beautiful girl of the corner of the Western coasts. A loud applause broke the monotony of the situation. The guy and the girl are, at last, married :)

Here, I forgot to mention, a convention is followed-the mother should not witness the most significant events of the marriage - Sindoor and tying-the-knot.

After this, the couple was congratulated and blessed by seniors of the family.

Guess the time? It was around 4-30. And we all went to sleep. However, I actually slept for not more than 45 minutes and packed up to leave the city. The Bidaai was already over. And we left the city.

The driver surprisingly arrived on time to drop us back to the airport. His face shone with pride when he was asked "how come so early?" Is it that unusual to be punctual?

           So that was Lucknow. May be I should have spent more time there. 

Don't miss the Mayawatis posters in every street!!