Things to do

Usually, my things-to-do lists are really awesome. They just need to be followed. This time it's no exception. But I'm looking forward to follow them. Here's it-

• Revive the keyboard of dust allergy and give it a shot. Should learn to read the music. Literally!!!
• Time to go stylish. Snip Sip!
• Try reading books. At least try reducing the hatred for that habit. It's not all that bad, is it?
• Clean the huge bloody mess in every small pocket of my room. Yikes.
• Go roaming. And discover Bangalore.
• C-A-M-E-RA!! Hell, why's this not the first point in the list?!
• Eclipse. How the hell do I use it?
• Shop with mom. Till both of us get sick, bored and tired of it!
• Learn to cook. (Lol, this has been in my list for the past 3-4 vacations!)

So what are your plans for the summer?

Old is Gold?

A few days back, I was on a reviving spree. All of a sudden I started falling for deep forgotten songs, like:

• Na Tum Jaano Na Hum - KNPH
• Pehla Nasha - JJWS
• O Re Piya - Aaja Nachle
• Aaja Aaja Main Hu Pyar Tera - Teesri Manzil
• Tum Jo Mil Gaye Ho - Hanste Zakhm

(The above two are sung by Rafi. Moving on,)

• Jinke Marinaa?? (Yeah. Seriously, :-P)
• Annal Mele, Nenjukul Pedhidum - Varanam Ayiram
• Kilimanjaro - Enthiran
• Chhan Ke Mohalla - Action Replay
• Badal Pe Paon Hai - Chak de!

Note: I don't listen to English. Perhaps if I did, the list would've been longer.

Holidays!!...er... Really?

27th Feb 2012

Study holidays wasted in planning summer holidays. And summer holidays (will be) wasted doing simply nothing. And I'm presently lurking between the two - neither can I study nor can I not. Exams I mean :-/

Yeah I have exams going on and I'm thinking of a blog post.(It's called seriousness, isn't it? Duh.) Yet, I feel no pressure thanks to this voice saying "Eyy cill, it's just 1st year!" ringing in my mind.
The word "break" has lost its meaning and the sense of relief when I remind myself of the word is barely felt. Tell me, would you remind yourself of chocolates when you're actually eating one? ;-)

Exams will end in another 5+2 days(+2 thanks to some issue in the State). Then Yippeeeee!! Holidays!!!
By the time the screams fade away, you bet, holidays vanish. This one academic year I'm supposed to slog and look like this sleep deprived nerdo. This year as far as I have seen, is one year when you're the uninvited guet of every social gathering. People nearly socially boycott you from attending functions or parties. You know, you go to a get together and introduce yourself as a pu-2 or better still, a 12th grader, an see the reaction - "Oh? You're second PU?? And you're here?! Go home and study, loser!"
May be they don't say loser but they mean it for sure. Everyone except those in your grade asks you to go study.

I still recall the ladies and Gentlemen of our college who boasted of their ranks and scores on my orientation Day. They come in my dreams and repeat their ranks. The mere thought of competitive exams, JEE and colleges haunts and daunts me. Lakhs of students shade and mark together. I'm one among them. Just one.
"An universe of atoms, yet an atom in the universe" [Richard Feynman]
(That's my favourite quote in the 1st Year English Course Book aka Fairy Tales)

So much in store for me. So many expectations. So many dreams. And this pounding heart.

Let's hope for the best anyway.

At random.

Long time. Very long time. I'd nearly forgotten how my blog looks, so I thought I'd give a visit.
But it's not been so long since I blogged. I just didn't do it online. So basically, I haven't blog, but my mind has. Here are random I typed on my phone some time ago-

Sometime in the morning, en route Mysore, 31st October:

Passing by serenading, lush green fields on one side and sugarcane plantations with their cute grey tips dancing to the noise of the breeze, and other trees kindly waving at the polluting commuters on road, accompanied by what I categorise at good music and a nice friend lost in silence, and my own mind whimsically loitering in a wild rain forest. With music only I can hear, it seems to me that the entire bus is all calm and silent(take your earphones off for a moment, and it would be like over hundred mosquitoes having a music competition just outside your ears).
Despite the loitering, my mind, I'll never know why, is constantly revolving around one quote by Steve Jobs- "Journey is the reward". True, but irrelevant here. My mind is constantly trying to relate the statement to my current situation.
But why?

2:16 AM, 15 November:

This, as far I as I am concerned, is far from sanity - wasting 2 hours in the evening in a futile attempt to sleep, and at night read a CB book till the clock striks the void hour(00:00), again try sleeping, and again sit up and resume reading the book till eyes burn out of rage and unreasonable sleep deprivation. So I couldn't help moistening my eyes. Since I wanted to flex a bit, I chose to use the basin downstairs. I sprinkled cold water on my face. I tell you, nothing is as refreshing as this. I walked around in the hall like a zombie. I caught the sight of an outdated newspaper whose front page spoke of Mallya's p(f)light. Before it could frustrate me, I turned around, strolled for a whole and, for some reason, looked into the mirror. The image, not surprisingly, looked more funnier than it would under normal circumstances. I laughed. God, I so looked like a zombie! Well, that's genuine. Wake up in the middle of the night and looking into the mirror is not what an average human would do. But for the frantic barking of the dog, the house was pin-drop-silent. I decided to climb back to my room. With all lights off. If you didn't know, I'm freaking scared of darkness. This wasn't pitch dark anyway. The sodium vapour lamp out there on the street, right opposite to my house, not-so-sufficiently lit the staircase. I turned off all the lights. It was pitch dark at that instant. But after a quick eye adaptation process(cones go, rods come.. :P), I could manage my way back.However that didn't lessen my fright for darkness. The darkness behind me chased me a uplstairs and urged me to slam the door and lock it. I really felt someone's chasing me! But fearing the subsequent disturbance I would cause, I squeezed int my room like a mouse and gently closed the door. It's 2:30 AM. And trust me, I'm still awake. Good morning :)

P.S: This is not meant to make sense. This is something I did to kill time. You read it if you want to do the same. These mind-blogs are not for a definite purpose. Like Kolaveri. ;-)

Speaking of Kolaveri:
 Well, as an average listener of Kannada songs, I'm used to local people going berserk about meaningless but popular songs. But this song, which is, again, not meant to make sense(not completely meaningless though ;)), has driven the entire nation(and beyond) into an incomprehensible frenzy! If you haven't heard this song, you're like the most detached soul in the society. You should face questions like "You haven't heard KOLAVERI???". Don't dare think I'm criticising the lot. I'm a part of it too! Kolaveri flooder all over the net, and so did it's millions of remixes and modified versions. But could they beat the vorrijinaal??
But now there's a boulder of responsibility on Aishwarya's shoulders to keep up to the "standards" and hype created by Kolaveri. The movie should be as good as Kolaveri. :P

My eyes-u straining-u. Bye-u.

I have (many) a dream...

Asking this to myself frequently is not enough to keep me awake and aware. I must be able to answer it too. What am I upto? What is my future? What am I doing? What should I do? What will become of me?

If you hear my dreams, you will laugh your heart out, I swear. Or perhaps you will try to control. My dreams are a paragon of impracticality and limitlessness. Engineering - Higher Studies - Comfortable job, and in the end, a self sufficient, independent Me. ONLY after this, marriage etc, etc and etc. Around 8-10 years hence, this is where I want to be. Heights, isn't it?
But sitting awkwardly alone in one corner of the terrace viewing the nothingness around me with undue interest and writing crap on a sheet of paper doesn't help. I'm doing something which, I know, is not what I should do. But what should I do?
I'm losing this battle. Or am I surrendering without fighting it? These intra-human wars, fought between the different areas of the mind(usually right brain v/s left brain), are as menacing as the World Wars. The magnitudes of the havoc caused by both these Wars are the same - one is seen, and the other felt.

I'm confused. Totally. I'm as confused as I was in 7th grade. when people asked me what I want to become. When I didn't even what what constitutes engineering, I would say "I don't know, but definately not engineering." Reason: I found it too common a profession, and hence I wanted to do something different.(Haahaahaahaa)
Of course, I've made up my mind with engineering, but Where? When? How? What next?

I think I'm wasting time dreaming. How foolish, I'm doing this even though I know those Eutopian dreams will forever remain in Eutopia and never turn true for me. When it comes to dreaming, I'm super ambitious, but...

Anyway, let me wait and watch. But this is my challenge, to all those people who have predicted my future, that I will become what I want to. Well to make things clear, my intention is not to prove the sacred-ash-and-beads-adorned men false, but it is to show that even "I" can do what I want to.

Oh-oh-oh! How I wish I worked as fast as my mind that flows so rapidly! I actually sat here(here=in one corner of the terrace) to study Sound. But I - sorry - my mind drifted from Newton - Laplace - pressure - self imposed pressure - confusion - and...you know the rest!!

Yell Bored Musings.

It all goes like this:
Turn it on, start, accelerate and brake brake brake!!!! Slow, take it easy. Honk - Peempeeeeem! Slowly accelerate. Lose balance and nearly fall. Legs down, release accelerator, and brake!
Of course I'm way better now.

Yeah, I'm talking about my Yell Bored Musings. Oh, I mean L-board. A learner is bound to screw up, I know.
But the (little)Learned is bound to make more mistakes, did you know? From a 1 week training in vehicle riding to now riding to college occasionally, I have been learning. Learning safely. Sudden, impulsive, accelerators, horribly controlled turns, nervousness, the will-i-be-able-to-make-it feeling, has always been pestering me. But somehow I have reached the stage of overcoming them all.
                    And now? I'm beginning to decline. What would a bacteria feel if its just born offspring is mercilessly killed? Fear is eating me up all over again. Nervousness is..er..getting on my nerves(?!). A slight thought that I have become a safe rider, which I thought would motivate me, happened to kill my conscience. Guilt is flowing all over my mind like CSF(cerebro-spinal-fluid... Right?). Souls that Frequently Undergo Enlightenment, like..ahem..me  should not make expensive mistakes when he/she/(in this case)me can't pay for it.
What did I even do, is your question. Right? See what I did:
 I bumped into an old parked car near my college on the way back home. Thankfully, luckily, by God's grace, Poorva Janmada Punya or whatever was bestowed upon me at tht time, that car was absolutely safe. Not even a scratch!
But that's not the end. It's just reduced number of problems by one. My(mother's)lovely Dio, poor thing, suffered all it could suffer. It suffered even on behalf of That Car. The awefully sexy vehicle now looks ugly and broken! Thanks to Yours Shamefully :-(
Of course I have excuses. I'm a learner, I'm so young, I was scared, first time blah blah. But does Dio know this? Does the repairer guy who, I know, is goin' to charge heftily, know this? Those excuses are constantly flowing in and out of my (empty) skull, but the mental picture of the damaged vehicle is etched in my whimsically good memory. And to add to my embarassement and distress, grade 3 girls on the street were laughing at me! How dare they! Chuck, I was not even in a mood to strain my eye balls to glance them, let alone staring them!
My fault guys. My fault. My right hand is still weak. And I realised how it's shivering when I started typing. Guilt is one thing I can't stand. I would die starving, but not with an unconfessed(is that a word? Darn, my English!) guilt. Hence this article.
Thank you readers. To some extent, you make me feel lighter. :) Cheers.

En route...

I have a hurried, limited(in one word: unenjoyed) breakfast. Then, I put on my bag and say Bye to Amma. And it all starts there - a (rather boring) journey of approximately 7 minutes. As I close the gate, I say Hi to Raja(or Kariya or whatever you want to call him - sweet doggie!):

Raja of the Street

Firstly, the whether outside is very cold then. I get to hear the harsh noises made by women sweeping the area in front of their houses. Residential as my area is, it is only houses that I get to see. And of course, some provision stores at random.
And I take my second turn. From now on, it is almost 1 straight road to Kumarans'(ignoring 2 minor curves). Usually, at this point, 2 or more dogs bark vigourously at each other. This road is relatively more active than mine. Ladies and Gentlemen of Padmanabhanagar prefer to have brisk walks here, at this time. It's time for grandpa's to go back home with their friends, after, or course, some gossip with their pals.
There's a very small playfield in this never-ending street. Here probably middle aged men of the neighbourhood play badminton with one another, and keeping all their household tensions aside for the moment, they chat, gossip and refresh. Opposite the field is a provision store where I sometimes encounter Rekha Mam. She castes one of her soothing, pleasant, sunshine-like smile at me, and sometimes even speaks to me, if possible!
Here you reach the journey's most pathetic part - the small bridge over the aromatic drainage. Everyday, when I get to cross the (so-called) bridge, I just can't stop myself from thinking "What if I lose balance and fall into this gutter one fine day?" And I go on, suppressing my stupidity.
Now I enter a narrow alley(believe me: There are houses even here.). And you can view the good(actually bad) old small white building.Once I cross the gully, I get a rear view of the main building of the college. Walk around 10 metres further and Lo! That's the building! The college canteen is not open so soon, but the Taatappa's bakery sometimes is. A few students, and of course Muttappa with his stick, are at the main gate and reception.
And that's all.

No no nooo! That's not all! I get a quick glimpse of my watch and try to look serious, rush up to the second floor and run to the Edge. Usually, the teacher is late *sigh*. So I sit on my chair, huffing and panting(Oh I've ran miles!). Actually out of this (approx.) 7 minute-journey, it is only while climbing up the stairs in a hurry that I hurt my leg. :-P

Well, that's the route to Education(college) for me. A few diversions in the beginning - uphill - slightly downhill - straight to destination(college again) - minor diversions in between - pleasant smiles and encouraging talks somewhere on the way(Rekha mam) - short, uncomfortable phase(the gutter and the gully) - the tiring last minute rush - and then - There You Are!!!

Destination
(Photo Courtesy: Anusha)

My Evenings at the Terrace

Cool breeze soothing your face, blowing hair off your face. Tones and overtones resonating in your ears(thanks to earphones, lol). A view of trees, wires, houses, their terraces, solar water heaters, clothes of all colours dancing with the wind, all for a slight downward clockwise inclination of you eyeballs; and the dramatically beautiful sky with thousands of clouds floating, eagles gliding, and atop all, the sun glowing red ViBrantly(H.O.T), for an anticlockwise inclination. All in all, one can enjoy the view of the silent and serene Padmanabhanagar.

Sitting completely on the parapet(both the legs on it, I mean), my back resting on the stone wall is another experience. (That's a direct drop-point to the street below, mind you :P ). The waves produced by the guitar, drums and a gamut of instruments setting your eardrums and mind into vibration. Eyes shut down to rest, and mind opens up to contemplate. 

Twenty minutes pass by like a second. And the music is over. A pause to my contemplation. Eyes open. I give the trees and houses around me a where-on-earth-am-i look, and later realise my position, and get down the parapet like a monkey. That's so rejuvenating!

Terrace - a whole new world - a paradise for me. It is not empty; it is overfilled with peace. I am not lonely there; i have myself as a company. It is not silent there; breeze makes all the noise. It fills optimism in me.

             

                      Enough of philosophy for today. I know you're fed up.

Yes, it's my Maavana Mane!

Family! Aww what a Family!
I would like to requote my gTalk status: Me and my nieces and my nephews and my cousins and my uncles and my aunts! Phew! What A Huge family!

4 days at uncles house was so packed up! There was no chances of getting bored! I was well occupied with all sorts of activities like babysitting(Sha and sometimes Shri), eat home-made junk(Ra Athge! :) ), do some household work, play carrom, play songs for the babies(CuppyCake Song, Laughing Baby And Dinka Chika, LOL). Every moment I kept silently moaning or rather regretting, that I should have had my camera. I also kept wishing that I had an SLR all for myself. Those innocent faces, the bright eyes, the unspiteful smiles, some without upper canines, mother's love, grandma's love - how lovely to experience! How photogenic! You should once visit their house during summer holidays. You find kids of all kinds - one who talks breathlessly beyond her age, one who thinks he's a hero of all blockbusters(Enthiran, Wanted and Magadheera to name a few :P), the hyperactive one who's crazy of action flicks and chewing gum and junk food and what not(this one's not a kid actually - quite older), the fussy one who likes to watch fighting scenes, the fussier one who is just fond of crying, the strange one and the relatively silent, short tempered and tensed one who feels ignored, (I know Vybs you're naming them all ;') ), then.... then....Yeah the bit stubborn one who is a bit cunning but a bit better than the fussy ones as she doesn't cry as frequently as they do. May be you might get bugged off with noise pollution and the silly squibbles, but if you are the kind to watch the world around you and make conclusions out of it(conclusions, not comments; and "make" conclusions, not "jump" into them), you must visit them. P.S: You need hell lot of patience!
                                It's totally different from the silent, calm atmosphere of Atharva. Every holidays I have to pay a visit to Shrimata - Nanna Mavana Mane! Otherwise the "Simhada Mari Sainya" will not spare me. By the way SMS (SimhadaMariSainya) has been one of the kids' favourite Kannada movie. I watched so many movies- Magadheera, Arundhati, Arya, Arya2(Yeah, only Telugu! Hardly understood a dialog by myself!), Golmaal 3(!1st half)!
            Kids are always amazing. Naughty or cunning or irritating, kids are kids. They still have some innocence left in them. May be they appear selfish sometimes, but that is a face of innocence. Rich or poor, kids are always happy. They build their own world around them. They spread their cheer all around. They bring smile onto others face even when they cry. No kid can escape from being cute. Whatever they do is cute. Even when they cry they are cute. Should I mention how cute they are when they smile? However it does not mean they should be let to do whtever they like. It depends you know. Strictness is sometimes required. Fine, leave the kids to themselves and come back to my Maavana Mane.
                                   I have two sisters there(I mean sisters-in-law). Very sweet and talkative ones. I like their company. Umm.. I don't think I've left out any detail. I'll go to bed before I get scolded again from Mommy Dearest. It's close to Eleven. Eleven o' clock is just nothing to some of my nocturnal sweethearts, but in my house it's like 3 AM! Bye g'naite!
Jaychi, GooNaa!

Oh! I have a blog!

Ya.. I have a blog. I keep forgetting this. No I'm in no mood at all to continue with the so-called travelogue. So many things happened after that at home. Let me write about that.

First thing I can remember: L-A-L-B-A-G-H! We were only 5.(or FIVE?!God!). We hogged at Maiyyas'. Bill reached a thousand. O lord.. Imagine how hungry we were! We ate pastry also!! That's one day we will not forget(we=those who came).

Next day my Vybsie came to my house! Obviously it was good!

On 18th of April I went to Mysore for 3 days. Residential Yoga program conducted by Sadhguru himself. I think I am very lucky. He is extra-ordinary. I think you all should meet Him once. No you have to meet Him. This should be experienced, not explained. The volunteers(mom was one of them :) ), the singers, the dance, Isha Home School students, the arrangements, the discipline... Woah! You cannot find it elsewhere, I swear! We stayed at Ginger. The stay was comfortable. On the way back, 3 kids accompanied us. They gave us good entertainment. They asked me riddles and stuff like that. And all that while I had thought I have lost my camera. Whenever I thought of it I could hear my hammering heart, reminding me of Appa's lectures about responsibility. No I'm not ridiculing them. I do deserve them. He's right. He's always right. And Lo! I found it the next morning deep inside the bag! 20th was bro's b'day. He was not here :(. But I had brought a gift for him. Gift Of Shimla! When he was back on 29th he saw it. He liked it! 24th was Rajkumar's bday. I think I saw some Raj movie on that day. Mostly Sampattige Saval. I just love it. Manjula was so slim and cute!

Hey hey... Wait wait.. Rewind. 29-28-Ritvik's Bday!!-27-26-25-24-Over-23-Akshatha's Bday-22-and-21st!!
The Unplanned Get Together. But..Uh-ho Akshata missing! But she was mentally present anyway! She spoke to us on phone. Deepti's sis Deeksha had come too! We ate Bisi Bele Bath and "I" ate shavge paysa! Nippattu was there too! It was nice meeting everyone after Garuda, and some after Lalbagh and Maiyyas.

Ok fast forward: I mean, "go back to the next page :P" (Aww Lakshmi Mam!!!)
Shopping! With Amma! Ah at last I'm spending time with Amma! Gandhi Bazar made a handsome profit thanks to Souji! Bought dresses, jewels, etc for myself. Rather, Amma bought them all for me. I felt very bad for the massive money-drain. Around 5000 bucks would have been saved, had I not bought new dresses. (Duh, it's just once in a while yaar. Stop whining and go on.) Ok then on May 3rd there was Mehendi at Souji's place, but due to MoT problems I got it done at GB(Gandhi Bazar guys!). It was nice. Very nice. Gandhi Bazar is boring for some people, what to do.. For me it is the best when it omes to shopping! From the next day it is Souji madve! She was so excited! And, perhaps, still is! She was looking drop dead gorgeous through the wedding. She has to, it's her marriage after all!
The wedding went on really well but for a long time! I got a chance to just click, click and only click in Abhi;'s SLR. That was real fun! I shot pics from my camera too! So Mrs.Souji is my neighbour now! Yippee!

OK.. Next part - Break Ke Baad

Me and My Euphoria

09:56 PM 27th March 2011

I am all excited (for obvious reasons!). Yesterday was a good day for me. I started my morning with a few milliliters of mango milkshake (not so yummm). Late in the morning, at around 11:30 AM, my dad went out for shopping - cucumber shopping - Well at least that's what I thought. But he came back empty handed and went out again. This time he did not return empty handed. He had a sort of application form or something in this hand, and kept some thing on the "deewana". It was a Sim! For me! YAY! He had actually said I won't get one before I leave this morning. He had lied? No, he was busy hen. Ok leave that apart, let's talk about the Sim. It was a Prepaid Vodafone Sim. No free messages tough. Or wait... I still don't the offer properly(stop laughing at me! duh!).

After lunch, my packing began. This is the first time I am using a suitcase, because I have never been away for more than 5 days.
My mother helped me in packing and, mainly, in fitting ALL my clothes into that bag without damaging the neat folds of the clothes. Later I had to lock and unlock the suitcase several times as I kept on inserting more clothes 1 by 1 till late in the evening. So that was packing, and I am all set to go, with two bags waiting as eagerly as me!

Next was dinner. Actually I was not hungry for a change(Me.. Not hungry...Something's wrong then!) I had eaten one sweet(dry fruit burfy) in the evening, and that would not have sufficed me if it was "just another day of my life". It was a special day, or rather, the eve of a special day. And yeah, coming back to dinner, Dad, Mom and I went to the Udupi Krishna Bhavan @ Gandhi Bazaar. MoT was the auto. It is a good hotel, offering only South Indian food. It was brimming with people as usual. It is very common in a place like Gandhi Bazaar, that too on Sundays in the evenings.

And after all these, at the end of the day, finally, I have learnt my mobile number! YAY! Unlike that of others in my house, my number starts with 8. Three 8s!
Time to sleep. But I didn't sleep. I watched TV till 11 PM and then slept. And I got up today at 6 and I am Blogging right now at 7 AM. I am leaving my house in an hour and a half, and leaving Bangalore at 11:40 AM. Will be back on 5th April. (Here's Vidha3, Signing out, literally!) Till then, bye!

LUB DUPP, LUB DUPP!

23rd March, 10:45 PM:  I felt sleepy. I closed my book and went to bed. I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I listened to songs till 11:45 PM. I realised I will not sleep. I went back to study for some time. I found a book and a pencil. And I wrote this:

11:59 PM 23rd March 2011

I'm floating in a concentrated solution of joy, my density being much lower than that of the solution. I'm not able to cry "Holla!" to neither my tongue nor my happiness. The World War has come to an end and it's time to behave As You Like (it). It is just 12 AM, 24th March 2011 and it is not even A Day's Wait for -me- us. Adrenaline is gushing and                        
                        "LUB DUPP, LUB DUPP"
                                                            says my heart, in its language, meaning,
                       "I'm waiting, I'm waiting!"
(note that i'm leaving lines for dialogues! Yay! Finally I learnt!)
                            And yeah, my heart is also waiting for The Moment. Our ecstacy has gone OutOfBounds, and I don't think any of my ICSE co-mate is an Exception to this phenomenon!
Tomorrow(that is today), I can say:
                                       "Temporarily I'm free like a bird, and free FROM birds too!"

All that I still wonder is how come I didnt suffer from "impairment of night vision" inspite of being a part of the wonderful and noisy (wonderfully noisy!) class, MY class, A2.
When I mention A2, I don't think I sould speak about all the entites of A2. Because A2 includes everything. EVERYTHING. Including Chandana Mam and all others who have endured us all these years.
The pencil is becoming blunter by the minute, while I see bats flying around my house, a weird insect buzzing near the fluoroscent lamp. The cool breeze is adding to my ecstacy, while I murder two mosquitoes without making much noise! Dogs are barking to their glory down the street, and yeah! Time to continue with Computer Applications... Where was I... - Yeah! "Array OutOfBounds Exception"...

The Heap

12:17 AM, 24th March, 2100